Showing posts with label mountain dew. Show all posts
Showing posts with label mountain dew. Show all posts

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

The Lies Kwik Trip Sells You

We've all seen the Big Gulp. It's that nasty huge plastic cup filled with your drink of choice for only a buck something. What a deal, huh?

That's what I thought.

Last night, burned out from studying - something I don't do on a regular basis - I decided to see what my roommate Codi was up to. Turns out, she had a huge powerpoint due the next day, just like I had two tests to study for. Instead, we watched YouTube videos in her room and laughed our struggles away. Our other roommate, Jenny, joined us.

Then somebody had the great idea of going to Kwik Trip for some much needed caffeination. Sure, why not, I'll go too! I don't care if it's 11:30pm...I want some coffee.

I was eyeing up the flavored coffees when, out of the corner of my eye, the glimmer of the Mega Buddy cups caught my attention. I must have one, I thought. I must fill it up with Mountain Dew too, for Mountain Dew will surely keep me awake long enough to study.

For only a $1.39 I bought a 44oz Best Buddy full to the brim with Mountain Dew. This was a mistake. A BIG MISTAKE!

At 3:30am, there I am staring at the dark ceiling of my bedroom wishing I never went on that fateful Kwik Trip. I cursed the makers of the Mega Buddy cups. I cursed myself for letting the thrill and promise of Mountain Dew get the better of me. Not only did I have to wake up at 7:00am for class, I had to take a test in that class.

Come 6:00am, I finally fall asleep. Hoorah for ONE hour of sleep!

I get to class, take the test, feel a horrible pain in my stomach, finish the test, and leave for my apartment. My stomach was definitely hurtin' a new one all the way home. They should call the Best Buddy cups "Back Stabbing B----!" because it loves you in the beginning, it takes care of you, and it makes sure you stay awake and alert for your cramming session. Then it turns on you, out of nowhere, and stabs you not only in the back but in the stomach, and head, and heart. You want to spread dirty rumors about the "Back Stabbing B----!"

And throughout all the pain you receive from the $1.39 "Back Stabbing..." I mean, Best Buddy, you wash out the cup and save it for another trip to the Kwik Trip depths of Hell.