Stuck in an Elevator

Ever said something, then five minutes later completely regret it because it came true? I have. Plenty of times.

A couple of weekends ago I went to the Rascal Flatts concert at the Xcel Energy center in St. Paul, MN. My friend, Heather, had two tickets so she invited me to go with her. We had a really great time! Rascal Flatts did an amazing job!! Chris Young and Luke Bryan opened for them...they were awesome too :)

To get to the concert, we parked in a parking garage and then walked to the elevator since we had to go up about 5 or 6 levels. As we stood in the cold, frigid Minnesota air waiting for the elevator to arrive, Heather turned to me and said, "I hope the elevator doesn't get stuck and we miss the whole concert."

I couldn't believe my ears. Did she just say what I thought she just said?? I replied, "Heather! Don't say that. That would suck if we missed the concert."

Finally the elevator opened up and we poured in. All six of us, plus the six who were already in there. Then four more people scrunched in - idiots, we were already jammed in there like sardines. The extra four made it even more uncomfortable for 16 strangers to be shoulder to shoulder in a hot elevator.

We went up one floor. Then all of sudden the elevator stopped. Heather and I looked at each other, since we both knew that it was her fault that the elevator stopped working.

"Omigosh! Is the elevator stuck? Omigosh, omigosh! I cant' believe this is happening," was what the Rascal Flatts t-shirt wearing sardines all said.

Heather and I just stared at each other. Then she said, "I shouldn't have said that."

"Um, yeah, Heather, you hexed us. Don't say anything else while we're stuck in here," I ordered her. Then we both laughed. Holy crappola! It was unbelievable.

The lady closest to the buttons pressed the emergency one. Then the intercom came on and told us not to panic and that they had someone on their way.

Luckily for us, we weren't stuck between floors, so the strong sardines in the front pried the door open. We all flooded out, climbed the 4+ floors, and enjoyed the concert.

After the concert we (dumbly) waited for the elevator again. I reminded Heather, in good humor, to not say anything about elevators getting stuck ever again.

A Cougar Jingle...who knew?

Would you like to have a commercial jingle stuck in your head?

Me either, but I did have one in my head, and I still do. Here's how it goes..."I'm a cougar. She's a cougar. We're all cougars. Men love cougars. Don't you want to date a cougar tooooooooooo?"

All day I've been singing about cougars!

Have you seen this commercial? The only channel I've seen it on has been FX when I watch It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia and The League. It's a commercial about a dating website for men who LOVE cougars...which is all men, because the jingle says so. Apparently, there are enough women in the world who think of themselves as "cougars" that a website is actually successful...or is it? I don't know, and I don't have any interest in knowing.

The women in the commercial do NOT look like cougars. They look like they're in the twenties. So the only way these women can be labeled as "cougars" is if they are also pedophiles. Gross. Unless they are really in their forties....then what the heck, I want to be a cougar too - if my body looks like that and if I'm still single in twenty years. Wow, I hope I'm not single in twenty years.

But really, all that I care about is getting the jingle out of my head. The only good part about the commercial is when a sound clip of a cougar (the animal) roars! It's so funny that I actually laughed out loud. I'm sure cougars everywhere laughed until they peed their Depends.

Here's the commercial for you to watch. Now all of you will have the jingle stuck in your head. It's hard to catch the cougar roar on YouTube, but it's at the 23rd second. Believe me, the roar is more prominent on TV.

Wednesday Musings: Take Twelve

On the first day of Musings my true love sent to me...a severely asleep left leg.
(if you sing it right, it works, so...sing it right)

On the second day of Musings my true love sent to me...two choc.chip cookies.
(for lunch - yum!)

On the third day of Musings my true love sent to me...three cute kids.
(not mine. definitely not mine. My mom is watching my new baby nephew Alec, plus the regular Billy and Caitlyn. Yay for my sis-in-law getting a job)

On the fourth day of Musings my true love sent to me...four yawns at work.
(I'm so frickin' tired in the morning, it's unbelievable, since I go to bed at 9:30)

On the fifth day of Musings my true love sent to me...FIVE STRETCHED FINGERS!!!
(we stretch before work to limber up our limbs for all the assembling we do. Technically it's ten fingers that are stretched, but whatever)

On the sixth day of Musings my true love sent to me...six movies a watchin'.
(last Saturday, I spent my day in front of the TV watching movies ranging from Severance to Moonlight Mile)

On the seventh day of Musings my true love sent to me...seven bird poop droppings.
(a little redundant, but why are they pooping and dropping their droppings on my car? Thank goodness my car is white)

On the eighth day of Musings my true love sent to me...eight non-suitors wooing.
("true love"....not yet. I wish I had eight. At the wedding I had one guy who tried to woo me, but that didn't work out so well. He was really drunk)

On the ninth day of Musings my true love sent to me...nine ounces hurting.
(I really like Coke. I do. I love it, but after about 9oz of the stuff, I'm ready for my relationship with the cola to back off. At least until the next day)

On the tenth day of Musings my true love sent to me...ten minutes of resting.
(that's what I get at work. A break at lunch and then a 10 minute break to recoup. I like it)

On the eleventh day of Musings my true love sent to me...eleven days to bday.
(then I'll be 23. September 5th!!!)

On the twelfth day of Musings my true love sent to me...twelve safe eggs to eat.
(salmonella, gross. Not in my house! Plus, chickens are nasty. But I do love their eggs. Be safe everyone!)

So that was a little cheesy, and really challenging to think of stuff. Really challenging...especially when I can smell the bacon upstairs and when I've been holding in my pee for about ten minutes. That can't be good for my kidney.

And to clear up the Coke part. Coca Cola. Not cocaine. After I re-read it, the ounces might confuse people, but I capitalized the C in Coke.

**I Don't Know Why I Laugh Sometimes is a drug free blog**

Music Monday - Wrong Baby Wrong

"Wrong Baby Wrong" by the lovely Martina McBride.

I've never participated in Music Monday before, but I couldn't really think of anything to write today, so I thought I'd let this song do it for me ;)

Song in my Head

This is going to be short, because I'm in the library working on my group project, but I needed to get a post out to my fellow followers. I know, you're very welcome.

Okay, so you know how you connect songs, or people, or even phrases to a particular memory or something else? And then you get this chain of memories which means something special to you. I'm being vague, but I know you know what I mean.

I have the song "You were always on my mind" in my head and whenever I hear it I think of Practical Magic. Then that movie reminds me of how badly I wanted to be a witch when I was little. Which then reminds me of Hocus Pocus. Then that movie reminds me of my cat Pookie :( RIP little guy!! He died about seven or eight years ago, but he was the only pet I ever had.

I could go on and do a pseudo six degrees of Kevin Bacon sort of thing, but I won't.

So there it is...my pathetic little post.

The Library "Hurts So Good"

I don't like the campus library very much. I feel like if I stay too long I'll get sucked in to a library-like-black hole.

People talk too much and loudly! Shhhhhh!!! It's the library...

It's really hot in here too. Yes, I'm in the library right now. The printers go off every 10 seconds and it creates a very warm atmosphere. HOT PAPER!!

The only reason I'm in the library is so I can print off my papers for my English Portfolio. Which is now done. Thank God.

We have to turn in a digital copy too, and I didn't have all my papers on my computer. A few of them were just hard copies. So I had to re-type some of my papers just to save them on a CD. I tell ya, it's not fun to rewrite a paper on Clarissa Dalloway's soul, or lack thereof. It's very drab.

Anyway, I'll be out of this place in ten minutes. Don't get me wrong. I love libraries. I could spend hours in them searching through books. But when I have to complete assignments or read for class...I don't want to be at the library.

When I was in elementary school Library was my favorite class. Well, besides recess and lunch and gym...and music and art. I liked everything :) But Library was my favorite. The Dewey Decimal System and I had an understanding. It was good.

Anyway, if I was on the second or third floor of the campus library it would be much quieter. I'm on the first floor and it cuts students a little more slack. I think they should still talk a little softer though.

I guess I shouldn't be talking. Last semester I was up on the third floor (where you can hear a pin drop) and I cracked open a can of Dr. Pepper then resumed to eat a bag of Doritos. CRUNCH CRUNCH! I almost busted out some John Cougar Mellencamp, but I contained myself.

iPod and Me

When I'm waiting for a class to start I put my iPod earbuds in.

When I'm walking to class I put my earbuds in.

When I'm getting ready and I want to jam out by myself I put my earbuds in.

Some people think that our society is disconnected with each other because we're constantly on our cell phones or we are listening to our iPods.

Well, get over it.

Do you think I'm going to go up to a stranger and introduce myself as I walk to class? If the only way to stay "connected" with society is to not listen to music while I'm walking...then ooookaaay, I'll be the psycho girl who runs around campus saying hi to everyone.

I bet that would stir up some rumors around campus.

In my opinion, I think it's okay to listen to music while walking to class. I'm not hurting anyone by doing so. Unless I cause a ten car pile up because the Dixie Chicks were singing about Earl, then I will continue to stay connected with my iPod.

Terri Clark, I wanna do it all too

You know that country song called "I Wanna Do It All" by Terri Clark? Yes? No? Well, I'm not going to copy and paste the lyrics here, you can look it up if you're not familiar with it.

As I was driving to my nephew's 5th birthday party yesterday, this song came on my iPod and I jammed out to it - because every respectable girl who loves country music would.

Some people do bucket lists, and some people do 101 in 1001...and I thought it was "laugh out loud in laugh out-out loud" before I realized the "l" was actually the number 1. I'm a little slow.

I'm doing neither. Maybe I'll post my bucket list when I have a good number of things I want to accomplish, like jump from one rooftop to another rooftop before I die. That's one thing I definitely want to do!!!

Instead, I'm doing the Terri Clark's "I Wanna Do It All" list. Here it goes...

Visit Paris in the fall - darn, haven't done this one yet.

Watch the Yankees play ball - heck yes I have! Twice!!! One time at Yankee Stadium and the other at the Metrodome. Yankee Stadium was WAY cooler.

Catch a few beads down at Mardi Gras - nope, but does Brother's Bar beads count?? (for the record, I didn't earn the beads)

Start a tradition - yes! My sister and I started a song and dance tradition on Christmas Eve. Our first performance was the song "Sisters" from White Christmas. Other performances include Mean Girls (sexed down) "Jingle Bell Rock," Laverne and Shirley's "Walking in a Winter Wonderland," Facts of Life "We Need a little Christmas," and so on and so forth.

Lay down the law - A number of times. I think anyone who has babysat before has laid down the law.

I want to drink Tequila down in Tijuana - unfortunately not. But I love Tequila!

Say why not when somebody says "hey do you wanna?" - Yes. Then I got a two day out of school suspension. If only Gary's foot hadn't gone through the ceiling, but that's another story.

I wanna get my heart broke once or twice - not by boyfriends, but I cried through the entire movie of My Sister's Keeper. I will not watch that movie again.

Settle down with the love of my life - someday.

Rock little babies to sleep at night - plenty of times. Again, I've babysat a lot. After I lay down the law, I have to put them to bed.

See Niagara Falls - nope.

Fight city hall - Like Batman? Wait, he works with Commissioner Gordon...my bad.

Feel good in my skin - as opposed to feeling good in other people's skin???? I'm from Wisconsin, I know all about Leatherface.

Beating the odds with my back to the wall - A couple Easter's ago I beat my older brother in a game of HORSE. Boo ya, Blake!

Try to rob Peter without paying Paul - The Apostles? Or did Terri Clark run out of syllable use for Mary?

I wanna do it all - almost.

There you have it. Oh, and on the way back from my nephew's party, I jammed out to some Hall & Oates. I'll let you know when you make my dreams come true ooh ooh ooh ooh oooohooo.

Lady Blah Blah

Have you seen this YouTube video?? Lady Gaga's Bad Romance - it's this guy who learned all the dance moves, and he's really good.

So here is Slams The Door (in the red), me (with the baseball tee on), and James (in the back) dancing to Lady Gaga's Bad Romance in my kitchen. I don't think we're YouTube worthy yet...




When you have some free time and you need a laugh, look up Doglover199709 on YouTube, she is a great dancer :)

Sidewalk Etiquette

Rule #1 - Walk on the right side of the sidewalk. Pretend it's a road. This will eliminate head-on collisions.

Rule #2 - Keep the iPod volume to a minimum. You never know when a runner or biker is approaching fast, and if you don't want to look like a loser and freak out when they pass you because you're scared out of your wits...then listen to Snoop Dogg at a reasonable level. In my case, I would put him on mute. Also, I recommend not singing to your iPod, because A: you look funny, and B: you're probably not that good. Unless you like the attention of random strangers, then go for it. I like a little humor on my way to class.

Rule #3 - Speaking of bikers, bike on the road. You are considered a vehicle. Plus, you take up too much sidewalk space.

Rule #4 - Limit your walking buddies to 2 or 3. If you are approaching a group of 3 girls on the sidewalk and the third doesn't budge from the arm linked brigade, shoulders could bump and nudge. This is NOT good...a rumble could emerge.

Rule #5 - No one likes to stick to the rules of the pedestrian crossing, but try to do your best. I know it's a pain to get from corner of the street to the other, and if you choose to jaywalk, do so with caution. You're two second time saver may be your last.

Rule #6 - When you see a friend and want to tell them your life story, don't talk in the middle of the sidewalk. People will throw foreign objects your way...and again we are trying to reduce the number of rumbles starting. I don't like seeing people get stabbed with pencils and hit over the head with textbooks. (I go to college, I've seen things).

Rule #7 - Don't text while walking. This can also lead to head-on collisions, and more seriously - a fall. Which, my friends, is very humiliating. Sidenote: when someone does fall or hits a rock while biking on the road and flips over his handlebars, go over and help them up. Unless, of course the biker falls while using the sidewalk...he should've used the road. You can yell that to him when you pass by - 9 times out of 10 you will see the biker using the road the next time you meet.

Rule #8 - Try to keep up with foot traffic. One of my biggest pet peeves is being caught behind a slow walker. Slow walkers tend to travel in packs, so it is almost impossible to pass them. In the non-winter months, this can be avoided by walking around them via people's yards. In the winter, though, you don't want to be knee-deep in snow...so think of happy things - like the courage you would love to have to bulldoze through the slow walkers and leave them cursing you from the ground.

Rule #9 - When crossing the road, don't forget to look both ways. Some drivers don't stop for pedestrians. They are a mean group of people. So when the nice drivers of America do stop for you, wave and smile at them (to show your appreciation).

Rule #10 - When you walk your dog, please pick up their presents off of the sidewalk. It's not a good day when I'm walking to class and I see a human sized poo radiating off the cement on a hot summer morning.

Please try your best to abide by these rules. Someday we might live in a world of sidewalk walkers walking in peace.

An Old Soul

Ever since I was little I watched I Love Lucy and Gilligan's Island in syndication on TV Land. I wished that The Munsters and the Cleaver family lived down the block. I laughed at Janet, Chrissy, and Jack as they got themselves into uncomfortable situations before the eyes of Mr. Roper. None of my friends appreciated the humor of Larry and his two brothers - Darryl and Darryl, let alone knew what I was talking about.

While I grew older and started to plan my future, I hoped for a roommate named Laverne or Shirley and a best friend named Rhoda.

It isn't all about television shows either. My iPod is crammed with songs by The Temptations and Roy Orbinson. I sing along with Smokey Robinson and the Miracles, and try to hit the high notes with the Jackson 5.

I've written a paper on The Big Chill, and watched The Ghost and Mrs. Muir on a Friday night instead of going out. Every time The Parent Trap (1961) is on, I watch it. And I recently bought Tootsie on DVD.

I remember watching Rear Window, The Birds, and Psycho with my parents and thinking that those were the scariest movies in the world. I was literally afraid to go in the bathroom, for fear that birds were going to come out of the closet.

Jimmy Stewart, Natalie Wood, Audrey Hepburn, Rex Harrison, Cary Grant, Grace Kelly, and Bogey and Bacall are household names for me.

And then I think about what my future children with swoon over. Will they wish they were a part of Friends and Home Improvement? Will they laugh alongside Will Ferrell, or fall in love with Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan, or scream with Scream and cringe with Saw? Will their ears be full of Britney Spears, The Backstreet Boys, Lady Gaga, and Shania Twain? I can only hope so.