Sidewalk Etiquette

Rule #1 - Walk on the right side of the sidewalk. Pretend it's a road. This will eliminate head-on collisions.

Rule #2 - Keep the iPod volume to a minimum. You never know when a runner or biker is approaching fast, and if you don't want to look like a loser and freak out when they pass you because you're scared out of your wits...then listen to Snoop Dogg at a reasonable level. In my case, I would put him on mute. Also, I recommend not singing to your iPod, because A: you look funny, and B: you're probably not that good. Unless you like the attention of random strangers, then go for it. I like a little humor on my way to class.

Rule #3 - Speaking of bikers, bike on the road. You are considered a vehicle. Plus, you take up too much sidewalk space.

Rule #4 - Limit your walking buddies to 2 or 3. If you are approaching a group of 3 girls on the sidewalk and the third doesn't budge from the arm linked brigade, shoulders could bump and nudge. This is NOT good...a rumble could emerge.

Rule #5 - No one likes to stick to the rules of the pedestrian crossing, but try to do your best. I know it's a pain to get from corner of the street to the other, and if you choose to jaywalk, do so with caution. You're two second time saver may be your last.

Rule #6 - When you see a friend and want to tell them your life story, don't talk in the middle of the sidewalk. People will throw foreign objects your way...and again we are trying to reduce the number of rumbles starting. I don't like seeing people get stabbed with pencils and hit over the head with textbooks. (I go to college, I've seen things).

Rule #7 - Don't text while walking. This can also lead to head-on collisions, and more seriously - a fall. Which, my friends, is very humiliating. Sidenote: when someone does fall or hits a rock while biking on the road and flips over his handlebars, go over and help them up. Unless, of course the biker falls while using the sidewalk...he should've used the road. You can yell that to him when you pass by - 9 times out of 10 you will see the biker using the road the next time you meet.

Rule #8 - Try to keep up with foot traffic. One of my biggest pet peeves is being caught behind a slow walker. Slow walkers tend to travel in packs, so it is almost impossible to pass them. In the non-winter months, this can be avoided by walking around them via people's yards. In the winter, though, you don't want to be knee-deep in snow...so think of happy things - like the courage you would love to have to bulldoze through the slow walkers and leave them cursing you from the ground.

Rule #9 - When crossing the road, don't forget to look both ways. Some drivers don't stop for pedestrians. They are a mean group of people. So when the nice drivers of America do stop for you, wave and smile at them (to show your appreciation).

Rule #10 - When you walk your dog, please pick up their presents off of the sidewalk. It's not a good day when I'm walking to class and I see a human sized poo radiating off the cement on a hot summer morning.

Please try your best to abide by these rules. Someday we might live in a world of sidewalk walkers walking in peace.