Monday, March 22, 2010

Humor Writing Assignment: Satire

Snug-a-Buggie Infomercial

You asked for them, and now they’re here. The Snug-a-Buggie. It’s not only for you and your hairy friends anymore. Now you can wrap up all the creatures in your house. Cockroaches, beetles, ants, flies, and if you order now we’ll throw in an extra long Snug-a-Buggie for the centipede in your life.

And wait. The offer doesn’t stop there. Call 1-800-IM-CRAZY and we’ll double the offer. That means you’ll receive not two, but four Snug-a-Buggies all for the low cost of $10.99 (plus $8.95 S&H).

They now come in assorted fashionable colors and prints. That way, you’ll never mistake the cockroach for a vermin that needs to be killed, but a loving little bug that just needs a fashion upgrade. We have zebra and tiger stripes for the jungle lovers, polka dots and an array of solid colors for the less exotic people out there, and new right now – flesh colored Snug-a-Buggies, because, let’s be honest, they only want to look just like you.

Call 1-800-IM-CRAZY to find the perfect Snug-a-Buggie for the little loves in your life. Here’s a customer that has. (“She is a paid actor” is printed across the bottom of the screen)

I bought a Snug-a-Buggie and my life changed dramatically. Now the ants in my kitchen can move around more freely. I don’t ever have to worry about them being so cold all the time. And when they want to get into the sugar jar, their legs aren’t restricted – all the while I know they are staying warm. Snug-a-Buggie saved my life and theirs.

(New actor)
Ever since we bought the Snug-a-Buggie, we’ve been able to walk our household flies in the winter outside. All we do is bundle him up in his polka dot Snug-a-Buggie, and we’re set to travel anywhere. Just last week, we hiked up a mountain in twenty below weather, in a snowstorm! Mr. Fly stayed warm while cheering us on in our hike to the top. Without our Snug-a-Buggie, we wouldn’t have been able to share our experience with Mr. Fly.

There you have it. Real customers with real testimonies. (Words flash across the screen “Those were paid actors.”) Here’s the number again 1-800-IM-CRAZY. If you call now, we’ll double the double offer. Not two, not four, but eight, count them – eight Snug-a-Buggies for only $10.99 (Plus $8.95 S&H). You’ll be receiving eight Snug-a-Buggies for the price of two. Call now. Operators are standing by. Just tell them what print or color you would like your bug to be Snug-a-Buggied up with and we’ll send you eight Snug-a-Buggies of your choice for only a crazy low price of $10.99 (Plus $8.95 S&H). Hurry, this offer won’t last long. Call 1-800-IM-CRAZY before it’s too late.

(Paid actors with the bugs appear on the screen)
We’re happy we did. (The bugs are dressed in their Snug-a-Buggies).

(These words appear on the screen: “Snug-a-Buggie is not responsible for the death of insects through suffocation, entrapment, or the occasionally shoe crushing”).

5 comments:

  1. $10.99? Aww come on now. Everybody knows that the best stuff sold on infomercials cost $19.95! LOL This is really creative though. Unfortunately, I would go broke buying them for all the ladybugs taking over right now.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Ooooh, Ladybugs...I didn't even think about them!

    ReplyDelete
  3. I will need something little bigger for the occasional field mouse that makes it in so I can see them coming when I am sitting on the coach watching TV. Now they just freak me out, but if they were wearing their Snug-a-rodents it would be much better.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Love it. That totally made my day.

    ReplyDelete