Spooky! Scary!

Yesterday I spent my day with close friends. We dressed up in our costumes, carved pumpkins, went to a wine-cork pull raffle (didn't win anything), and went to a couple of bars.

It was so much just hanging out with good people. We laughed about memories and laughed about everything else. I don't really have a real "blog post" to write about...but I'm just going to say, "LIVE AND HAVE FUN! SMILE! SURROUND YOURSELF WITH GOOD COMPANY."

That's all you really need. Surround yourself with people (friends and family), people who truly care about your well-being. You will never be disappointed.

Carving our awesome pumpkins!

Hayley and Kyle and Marvin the cat.

Me and Liz as Thelma and Louise. I'm Louise.

Jenny the construction worker and me!

Me as Louise.

Liz as Thelma.

Hayley as Robin Hood, me, and Kyle as no one.

Post Office Blues

I am going to single-handedly take on the Eau Claire Post Office.  You heard me.  I’m not scared.

Locally-run governmental agencies are the worst.  Okay, so they’re not always the worst, but when the Eau Claire Post Office said it was discontinuing mail processing in February 2014, they became a sore subject for me.  Have you noticed that your mail is taking longer to get to places in Wisconsin that are outside of the 547- and 548-area codes?  No?  Well, I have.  And maybe that’s only because I work in an office where sending out mail can be time sensitive, and when it doesn’t get there the next day or day after, your coworkers take it out on you (because it is my fault, right?).  Basically half of our mail is still being processed in Eau Claire, and the other half is being processed in St. Paul, MN.

Anyway, this post office conundrum has a simple fix – separate the customers as they enter the building before they reach the service counter and act like morons who have no idea how they want to send something and whether they do, in fact, want insurance on the candy they are sending to their son in college.

There are three paths to choose from:  1) I know what I want, 2) I need extra attention and some answers, and 3) I’m going to take up so much time because I am THAT person.

The “I know what I want” group is the best.  These people actually walk around with a crown on their head.  Customers should bow down to them as they move swiftly through their line.  This path is only for customers who need stamps, need postage on their (get this) already sealed package, and/or they have filled out the proper certified/return receipt beforehand (you can do that? YES, YOU CAN!) and need postage and a date stamp.  You will indeed want to live up to the royalty of what I like to call non-idiots.

The “I need extra attention and some answers” group is for those people who need some cost options.  They will, of course, have their package put together before they get to the service counter.  This route has a two-step phase:  1) Package your items if you haven’t already done so and then 2) Proceed to the service counter.   Unlike the kings and queens alongside them moving at a rapid pace in line 1, this group needs shipping and cost options and/or they need help filling out that certified/return receipt.  Customers in this group will also have the option of applying insurance to their package.

Last and certainly the least, the “I’m going to take up so much time because I am THAT person” group is the bottom-dweller of the post office floor.  This group consists of morons who want to talk about their day as they have the post office worker bubble-wrap and ship their cat to Hawaii with insurance.  They also have forty-plus unsealed envelopes with no addresses written on them.  On top of which, they will undoubtedly change their mind about their shipping choice approximately three times.  These customers are the worst of the worst.  They have no respect for other customer’s time, and so they are stuck in their line for hours and hours because of the idiots standing before them.

We’ve all been there.  The moment you exit your vehicle at the Eau Claire Post Office and see a customer walking to the door with two bins full of unstamped letters.  You slam your door quickly, run to the door to beat the two-binned lady but can’t dodge the bottom-dwellers moping their way to the entrance of the building.  You never had a chance.  You won’t make the 5:00 p.m. cutoff time, and you’ll be stuck in line behind a bunch of people who have no idea how they want to send their mail.  Idiots.

Dumb Things on Pinterest

I love Pinterest. I go through the "Home Decor" category a lot because I'm moving into my house at the end of the month, and I come across a lot of great ideas...and a lot of dumb ones. For example:

"WASH" sign. I thought that was pretty obvious, but maybe people need to be reminded not to fry bacon in here.

This screams "clutter" to me. Sure your mess won't be on your kitchen table, but it sure will be tacked or magnetized to the wall! This looks like an elementary school art hallway. I give it a D-.

Oh heavens. This kills me. How about USE A WINE BOTTLE HOLDER AS A WINE RACK? Towels are better in the closet. Wine is better on the rack - where it belongs! Let's not mess with things.

HA! First of all, yes, sure, it's a cute idea. But it is also ginormous. I hope your bedroom has square footage for this. Personally, I like this idea for a doggie bed/area under the stairs.

AWWWWWW! Isn't it so cute?

All I have for this one is...Mommie Dearest

You heard her.

This one drives me nuts. If you are the average person, you probably have one washer and one dryer. You can wash one load of laundry at a time. Let's say you do towels first. You wash them, then you dry them, then you fold them, and put them away. And while your towels are in the dryer, you start your darks in the washer. Then you dry your darks, fold them, and put them away. You can't really get ahead of this little "schedule." Because unless you have more than one washer and one dryer, all of your clothes will never be done at once (and you will never need four sorting baskets). And if you decide to let your clothes just sit on this "sorting counter" after they finish drying just so you can use your sorting baskets, then you're wasting time and your clothes are getting wrinkled by not folding them immediately after getting pulled out of the dryer. What a waste of space.

Do you not want to sell your house? Ever? Y-I-K-E-S!

This dog is living the life. Hopefully the owners have a pool. If not, they need to reevaluate their priorities.

No one wants to see your body parts squished out of the hammock-ceiling.

Yes indeed! Your kids will DEFINITELY throw these rocks in the house and break ALL THE THINGS! *face palm*

Beep. Boop. Deactivate.

*robot noises*

I have deactivated my Facebook account.

Does it feel weird? Not yet.

Will it feel weird not reading that PoopyDoopy is at the gym "getting her workout on," again, like she does every single day (and I know this because PoopyDoopy posts it every single morning)?  No. Because I don't want to hear about anyone working out...ever...and especially not when I think about getting up early for a run and then I don't do it because I'm tired. Ummmm, no thanks.

Will I feel a dissatisfaction in my soul by not seeing the terribly-lit photo of FoodieMcCroody's lunch? Nope.

I think I'm going to do just fine without Facebook.

;)

*more robot noises*

THE CAPS LOCK BUTTON

I have this theory.  Hear me out.

If the CAPS LOCK BUTTON disappeared, then maybe all the anger in the world would disappear.

My reasoning:
People communicate via text, e-mail, Facebook, Twitter, and other media outlets.  If there was no CAPS LOCK, people would be less inclined to YELL at their comrades.

Mind blown...I know.  ;)

And also...

Ya know when your pinky accidentally hits the CAPS LOCK button and then you press SHIFT to actually capitalize a letter, but then it goes into lowercase?

iSN'T THAT ANNOYING?????  

SERIOUSLY!  THE STUPID CAPS LOCK BUTTON SERVES NO PURPOSE!  I hate being frustrated while I type.  If it wasn't for the little light on the CAPS LOCK button, I would be pushing it over and over, along with the SHIFT button while trying to figure out what letter is being capped.

IT'S ANNOYING!

Ugh, stupid CAPS LOCK button.  Why do you have to exist?

Thoughts I have during my day

One in particular hit me the other day.

Why is it that handicapped bathroom stalls are the furthest away from the door?

It doesn't make any sense.

They get to park the closest to the stores, but they have to wheel themselves the farthest to poop.

Things that make me go, "hmmmmm."

This isn't mine. I wish it was.

This is amazing...

I'll try to write something original soon. Ta-ta for now :)

21 Things We All Need

Feb. 6, 2013

By Nico Lang

1. Someone who really understands us and gets not the person we want others to think we are, but the person we really are. We need someone who sees that person and truly cherishes them, just the way they are.

2. Something to lie next to at night, whether that’s a pillow that you hug, the teddy bear you still have from your childhood, your best non-human friend or the love of your life.

3. To know that it’s okay when we screw up and that we are both forgiven and loved for not being perfect. We need to know that it’s okay to mess up, so we can work on getting better.

4. People to push us to be better people, who love us too much to let us stay scared and broken. We need people who lift us up and help us be more whole.

5. To feel like we are doing something in the world. It doesn’t have to be a big something—like earning a Nobel Peace prize or being the Meryl Streep of your generation. It can be something like starting a website with your friends or helping your hoarder grandparents clean up their life. But we need to feel like we are of service and use to other people and that we are a force for good in the world.

6. A day off or a break every once in a while. In a society that’s always pushing us to be bigger, stronger and more productive, sometimes we just need down time with our friends, hanging out and watching Arrested Development in our pajamas.

7. To feel sexy and attractive to other people, even when we aren’t trying. We need someone to tell us that we are beautiful without makeup and that they love waking up next to us, before we’ve had that moment to sneak out of bed, brush our teeth and pretend we woke up just smelling like that. We need someone to tell us our stinky breath is hot, even though it absolutely is not.

8. The agency to make our own decisions about our bodies. We get to decide how curvy it is, what goes in it, who touches it and what we do with it.

9. To be held every so often and have that hug that lingers too long, when you know someone is crushing you with affection, or that cuddling session that lasts for hours, when you’re just wrapped up in someone else entirely.

10. To be honest with ourselves and other people about our goals and aspirations — in order to push ourselves to achieve them. We need to not be scared to want too much or too little and have the courage to ask for it.

11. An unexpected compliment or affirmation from someone we respect or admire. We need to know that the people we look up to think well of us and that our heroes believe in us, too.

12. A connection with the world around us. We need to feel like we are a part of something: a family, a community, a bowling league, a book club or a world that’s changing for the better, one where our privileges can be shared with others. It is not enough to hope. We must also feel like we are a part of that hope.

13. To struggle. We need to feel things that aren’t easy and tackle things that are bigger than us, things that no person should have to deal with at our age. We need uncertainty—to know what it is to hurt and to be lonely, or we’ll never know how lucky we are when we make it through to the other side.

14. The ability to surprise ourselves every once in a while and do something we didn’t know we could. We need to feel pride in our accomplishments and a sense of astonishment at the person we are becoming.

15. Magic in our lives, even the everyday kind. We need those moments where you catch the train on time, and you feel like you control the transit system — that it bends to your mighty powers. Or that magic moment where you find your remote control or the charger that you presumed was lost, just to discover it was right in front of you all along.

16. To witness a public spectacle with the people we love around us. Whether it’s the NOT OVERRATED Beyonce taking the Super Bowl’s power away with her fierceness or going to see The Avengers with everyone we know, we need that moment where we are all tuned into the same thing, where we are all part of the same discourse, where we are all united in having something to talk about. And we definitely need Beyonce.

17. Moments where we kick back and let ourselves slide, whether that’s eating chocolate when we’re training for a marathon (#whatever) or procrastinating on our thesis with Downton Abbey. We need to remember mix our work and our play.

18. To stop caring so much about whether other people “like” us and focus on liking ourselves. We need to stop living for other peoples’ approval—obsessed about how many hits our article gets or whether our status gets a million likes on Facebook. Start dancing like nobody’s watching you.

19. That unexpected moment of progress, going that extra mile when you feel like you can’t run another step or finally getting through that Jeffrey Eugenides novel you’ve been putting off. We need to know that we can achieve what we set out to accomplish and we have the ability to make it better.

20. To catch up with old friends and have those moments of connection with our past. Sometimes we’re so focused on where we’re going that we forget to think about where we came from and the people who made us who are now. We need to be mindful and respectful of the fact that we are a process and we are still in development.

21. To stay home on a Friday or Saturday night. As important as it is to have food and a roof over our heads, it’s equally important to just exist in that shelter and cherish the simple privilege of existing in your own space. We need to allow ourselves to close our eyes and just be. Enjoy the silence.