Wednesday, November 10, 2010

When did Frosty the Snowman become Evil?

I've decided that I'm going to start critiquing commercials, because I watch them so much and I need to talk about them. I need to talk about them.

Have you all seen the Droid commercial with the snowman? If not, let me recap it for you...

Open on a winter evening scene. A couple of children run into the house (probably for supper). Then the snowman comes to life...MUAHAHAHAA!!

Zoom in on the snowman (let's call him Droidy the Motorolaman). Droidy's stick arm falls off. Oh no! Then Droidy's eyes light up like evil laser-beams of red death. His head starts to melt, because it's obviously so frickin' hot outside - I would understand if he was standing in a greenhouse, but he's not. That's a different snowman. What is wrong with this snowman?

Here's the zinger - his eyes are actually cell phones! Whowouldathunkit! This isn't the good ole commercial days when ad men used snowmen to sell soup. Like the snowman who shuffles inside and then melts down to a little boy eating a bowl of Campells. Oh no, this is not that kind of commercial.

The eye, I mean Droid X or whatever new Droid is out now, turns and subliminally tells me that this phone can do anything. For example:

It is waterproof. It has to be - it's been inside a snowman's head for probably a good 30 minutes to an hour. I have a feeling those kids worked really hard on it. That's probably why they ran into the house for supper. (Man, I hope there actually were kids at the beginning of the's kind of fuzzy right now, and I can't find the commercial on the internet). Anyway, for the sake of being safe, "whoever" built the snowman didn't do a shotty job.

It can perform Jedi Mind tricks. They should be calling this phone YODA. Hey, if George Lucas had to give them the rights to use the term "Droid" then he can hand over "Yoda" too. How perform mind tricks does it, hmm? For starters, Droidy snapped his own arms off to get your attention. Plus, these robot arms emerged to replace the stick arms!! SCARY! Then he melted his own face!! This phone is crazy! And you know what the biggest mind trick is? Millions of people are going to go buy Droid X and Droid 2...because if they don't, Droidy the Motorolaman will put you in a Darth Vader choke hold.

That's my recap.

Here's the critique: Not too bad of a commercial. I get all the George Lucas...I mean Droid Lucas...crap, I mean DROID comparisons to an actual "I-can-do-anything-cell-phone-of-the-future." And I like how they chose a snowman to deconstruct instead of Santa or a reindeer or an elf for their holiday commercial. I don't want to see a reindeer's head blow up to uncover two Droid phones. I don't like seeing alive deer, so I definitely don't want to see a dead one.

Secondly, I'm sort of a Star Wars fan, if you couldn't already tell :) So, hats off to making the snowman like Darth Vader. Yes, his head looks like Lord Vader's with his helmet off - the pale skin, the dark set eyes, the sympathy I start feeling for him even though he is evil and bad, but he can't help it because he's on the Dark Side, just like a snowman doesn't choose to be a snowman - someone has to make him into a snowman, and a snowman can't go back because he will melt, and Vader can't go back either. WHOA! Epiphany! Symbolism, I tell ya, too bad this commercial didn't come out when I was still in college. I feel like I have a good term paper here.

And let's not forget the robotic arms which coincide with Luke Skywalker's robotic hand. Honestly, I think George Lucas should be getting paid BIG TIME for this commercial.


  1. LMAO.

    Peace, Love and Chocolate

  2. Hahaha! I haven't seen this commercial yet. They probably just released it, so my guess is they're getting the rounds on a few areas to see how people like it before they start playing it nationwide. Too bad you can't find it on the Internet, though. I've been going back and forth between deciding on Droid phones. I don't really like Blackberries, the iPhone is with another carrier and too expensive, and I am definitely not going back to just a plain multimedia phone after having a Smart Phone. So many freakin' decisions, I tell ya.

  3. I have an idea... you write a play that my school can perform next fall. (The play director is resigning, and wanted me to be the first to know, and possibly take over)

    Haven't seen the commercial yet! I'll look for it.