Commercials at Their Worst

Are you ever watching tv and then a commercial pops up for a certain medication and it's the dumbest commercial in the whole wide world? For example: A group of friends are all sitting around a table discussing this new medication this one lady is on. Then she starts talking about how many doses are safe to take daily, the side-effects, and how you should of course check with your physician first. The ladies all ask their friends questions filled with medical terms and the lady answers them like she's reading cue cards.

Natural, right?

WRONG!

Ugh, these commercials are SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO ANNOYING!

This is how this commercial would work in real life:
I can't drink that wine.
Why not?
I'm taking this pill that makes me poop in my sleep.
EWWWW! HAHAHA!
It's just one of the side-effects, no big deal.
That is disgusting!
I know it is, but I just wear a diaper to bed so I don't have to do laundry every afternoon.
Is there any other weird side-effect?
Oh yeah, death.
Figures.
I know! Death is always a side-effect.
Anyway...did you watch The Office last night?

And there you have it. If only all commercials were this true. Real life rocks!

New topic! Here are some pictures of my place and one of me! :) Ignore the clutter.

The Yoplait yogurt container has Christmas cookies in them...not yogurt.

I'm taking my tree down on January 1!

A Cougar Jingle...who knew?

Would you like to have a commercial jingle stuck in your head?

Me either, but I did have one in my head, and I still do. Here's how it goes..."I'm a cougar. She's a cougar. We're all cougars. Men love cougars. Don't you want to date a cougar tooooooooooo?"

All day I've been singing about cougars!

Have you seen this commercial? The only channel I've seen it on has been FX when I watch It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia and The League. It's a commercial about a dating website for men who LOVE cougars...which is all men, because the jingle says so. Apparently, there are enough women in the world who think of themselves as "cougars" that a website is actually successful...or is it? I don't know, and I don't have any interest in knowing.

The women in the commercial do NOT look like cougars. They look like they're in the twenties. So the only way these women can be labeled as "cougars" is if they are also pedophiles. Gross. Unless they are really in their forties....then what the heck, I want to be a cougar too - if my body looks like that and if I'm still single in twenty years. Wow, I hope I'm not single in twenty years.

But really, all that I care about is getting the jingle out of my head. The only good part about the commercial is when a sound clip of a cougar (the animal) roars! It's so funny that I actually laughed out loud. I'm sure cougars everywhere laughed until they peed their Depends.

Here's the commercial for you to watch. Now all of you will have the jingle stuck in your head. It's hard to catch the cougar roar on YouTube, but it's at the 23rd second. Believe me, the roar is more prominent on TV.

When did Frosty the Snowman become Evil?

I've decided that I'm going to start critiquing commercials, because I watch them so much and I need to talk about them. I need to talk about them.

Have you all seen the Droid commercial with the snowman? If not, let me recap it for you...

Open on a winter evening scene. A couple of children run into the house (probably for supper). Then the snowman comes to life...MUAHAHAHAA!!

Zoom in on the snowman (let's call him Droidy the Motorolaman). Droidy's stick arm falls off. Oh no! Then Droidy's eyes light up like evil laser-beams of red death. His head starts to melt, because it's obviously so frickin' hot outside - I would understand if he was standing in a greenhouse, but he's not. That's a different snowman. What is wrong with this snowman?

Here's the zinger - his eyes are actually cell phones! Whowouldathunkit! This isn't the good ole commercial days when ad men used snowmen to sell soup. Like the snowman who shuffles inside and then melts down to a little boy eating a bowl of Campells. Oh no, this is not that kind of commercial.

The eye, I mean Droid X or whatever new Droid is out now, turns and subliminally tells me that this phone can do anything. For example:

It is waterproof. It has to be - it's been inside a snowman's head for probably a good 30 minutes to an hour. I have a feeling those kids worked really hard on it. That's probably why they ran into the house for supper. (Man, I hope there actually were kids at the beginning of the commercial...it's kind of fuzzy right now, and I can't find the commercial on the internet). Anyway, for the sake of being safe, "whoever" built the snowman didn't do a shotty job.

It can perform Jedi Mind tricks. They should be calling this phone YODA. Hey, if George Lucas had to give them the rights to use the term "Droid" then he can hand over "Yoda" too. How perform mind tricks does it, hmm? For starters, Droidy snapped his own arms off to get your attention. Plus, these robot arms emerged to replace the stick arms!! SCARY! Then he melted his own face!! This phone is crazy! And you know what the biggest mind trick is? Millions of people are going to go buy Droid X and Droid 2...because if they don't, Droidy the Motorolaman will put you in a Darth Vader choke hold.

That's my recap.

Here's the critique: Not too bad of a commercial. I get all the George Lucas...I mean Droid Lucas...crap, I mean DROID comparisons to an actual "I-can-do-anything-cell-phone-of-the-future." And I like how they chose a snowman to deconstruct instead of Santa or a reindeer or an elf for their holiday commercial. I don't want to see a reindeer's head blow up to uncover two Droid phones. I don't like seeing alive deer, so I definitely don't want to see a dead one.

Secondly, I'm sort of a Star Wars fan, if you couldn't already tell :) So, hats off to making the snowman like Darth Vader. Yes, his head looks like Lord Vader's with his helmet off - the pale skin, the dark set eyes, the sympathy I start feeling for him even though he is evil and bad, but he can't help it because he's on the Dark Side, just like a snowman doesn't choose to be a snowman - someone has to make him into a snowman, and a snowman can't go back because he will melt, and Vader can't go back either. WHOA! Epiphany! Symbolism, I tell ya, too bad this commercial didn't come out when I was still in college. I feel like I have a good term paper here.

And let's not forget the robotic arms which coincide with Luke Skywalker's robotic hand. Honestly, I think George Lucas should be getting paid BIG TIME for this commercial.