Tuesday, February 8, 2011

The Cover Letter that I've Been Dying to Write

2010 was a year of disappointments for me career wise. My favorite was when I applied to a local newspaper and got rejected in two ways: email and snail mail. Thanks. On the flipside, at least they let me know that they found someone else.

I've been tempted to write a cover letter to really get across my argument of why a company should hire me as a writer (technical, creative, proofreader, whatever). So here it is, my no holds back cover letter that I will never send out because it would get rejected faster than Christina Aguilera ran off the football field.

Dear Reviewer:

I heard about your job opening, because I'm desperate for a job in a field where I spent four years of my life and money at a wonderful university. I would like to apply for this position, because I know I would do an outstanding job.

I graduated from Winona State University with a Bachelors Degree in English: Writing. If I would've known that all you employers were just interested in experience, then I would've gotten an Associates Degree in Administrative Assistance (because apparently I can't even get hired for that unless I have an degree in answering phones...no offense to secretaries, I'm sure the job is harder than it looks) and spent the other two years working on getting experience before my actual experience. Too bad I didn't know this. Be that as it may, I think my four years at Winona State gave me equal or even better of an experience in writing as a job would.

Furthermore, I've had more than eight years experience with computers. Although I don't have "job experience" entering data into a computer, I've spent half of my life working with multiple computer software including Microsoft Office. If a monkey can do it, so can I. While attending school I worked as a waitress where I assisted the guests with excellent customer service in person and over the phone. I'm a great people-person who can handle stressful situations with a smile and a great attitude. I know I would be an important asset to your company, because I'm a creative, energetic, and hard-working individual who is more than ready for a job in the career path I've studied all my life for. Attached is my resume. Don't get scared off by my multiple past jobs. I worked summers to help pay for my overpriced education.

I will contact your office within a week to confirm that you received my application. Don't sound so surprised, I do know how to dial a telephone.

Thank you for your consideration.


Kinsey Bodenburg

Wow, that felt good. The sad part is, besides how desperate and rude I sound, half of my submissions don't even get looked at. A computer searches for certain words and picks out the application, or somebody just chooses candidates that they know. So really, I have a slim chance to get a good writing job. I've applied all over the U.S. and nothing back yet besides a few rejections. I guess time will tell.


  1. I went through a similar period in my life and I can relate 100% to what you are feeling right now. I have a journalism degree, and often encountered the same frustrations - how am I supposed to gain experience if you won't GIVE me the experience?

    After nearly two years unemployed, I took an entry level job at a printing company and worked my way into my position now. Best of luck to you!

  2. I'm in my last semester of college and not looking forward to the job searching (and rejections) that await me. =/ We just talked about cover letters in my capstone course last night, ha! I think you should totally send this out to an employer (minus maybe the biography part, lol). It will probably stand out more than your other letters, and what other people submit and who knows WHAT could happen!

  3. hahah! I wish you sent this out. I'll keep my fingers crossed that something positive happens int he job market for you soon girl!

  4. I think you should send this out. Just to see what the response would be. It would be interesting. I mean, Michelle Pfieffer totally flubbed her interview with Robert Redford and not only landed an awesome job, but also a hunky, mysterious older man with great hair and great jawbone structure. I mean, who doesn't love Red? ;-)

  5. I feel your pain girl! I graduated in 2008 with a BA in English lit. and I have yet to find a job in my field. I am a secretary basically. I don't know how people get the real journalism jobs, you really do have to know people. I had 2 internships that I loved, but they gave me false hop that there are a lot of jobs like that out there when I don't think htere are. I have to move to a bigger city I think. Good luck!!!

  6. I think this is a great letter--maybe we should send it in the newspaper and see what happens! May have to edit a few things out--but who knows?