Thursday, February 17, 2011

What's the Deal with Meteorologists?

I like watching the news. I like watching the weather even more, because I'm interested in knowing what the temperature is going to be in the morning, at noon, and night. I love the 7-day forecast. It's my favorite part.

But what's the deal with meteorologists? Just tell me the weather. Seriously, all I need is a screen with numbers in Fahrenheit and pictures of clouds. I don't want you to explain what fog is or a bunch of other fast-talking information you feel is important. All I want is the weather.

Frankly, I don't even need a meteorologist. In my perfect world the meteorologist would stay behind the scenes. If they did come out and present the weather it would go something like this: "It's going to thunderstorm today until about 5:00 pm. Tomorrow is going to be sunny with a high of 75. Here's your 7-day forecast." Then they would walk away.

Instead, I get this..."Good Thursday afternoon. We have a low pressure system coming from the South. The national weather system says blahblahblah, but blahblahblah, I don't really get it. Hey, am I still talking? Ha, I think I have the best job in the world. I'm almost always wrong. We've had a week of record temperatures, but it might snow tomorrow. Then it will be pretty nice again next week. Something about some counties blahblahblah, and more counties that aren't even in our viewing area...let's talk about them for awhile. Oh, and in Texas the temperatures are in the blahboogerblah. But we live in Wisconsin. Maybe I should spend time actually talking about our state. I like to wave my arms and hands around to distract you viewers from seeing the 7-day forecast. Guess what? It took me three hours to figure out how to make that sun on the screen sparkle. Like my tie? It's festive. Now that I've wasted your time, back to you."

So annoying. I find myself zoning out when the weather comes on - like I'm in a trance. I have a theory that my local meteorologist is actually hypnotizing the viewers into thinking he's actually good at his job. My only defense is the mute button on the remote...if I can get to it in time.


  1. Ooh, I've decided what you should do instead of that brilliant cover letter... ready? You should do a postcard to all the companies that hire writers and on the font all it should say is 'I wrote this.' and on the back it should have 'Hire me now.' with a web page to your contact info and writing samples. To make the postcard stand out in a pile of mail it should be an absurd size, obnoxious color, and bizarre texture. Or not, your choice.

  2. One year we had a babysitter lined up to go birthday shopping for one of the boys - food, gifts, et al. A storm was coming through and the weather forecaster had every scared to death to go out. We ended up waiting another hour before we left. They make you think a tornado is going hit any moment!