Ever heard the phrase, "I've come to the conclusion..."? Of course you have. Let me tell you something: I have come to the conclusion that the girl sitting next to me in my Personal and Community Health lab was on Meth or Coke this morning.
Random, right? I know. I don't know much about drugs except from the D.A.R.E program I had back in the 5th grade. Even then, I don't remember much except that they are bad for you.
Anyway, I'm sitting in class and the girl next to me won't sit still. She was literally moving every second for about 15 minutes straight until she got up and left. Then she came back. At first, I thought she was just sick with the flu, but she still had color in her face and she didn't reek of vomit...so that wasn't it. She was warm too. No, she was hot, because she kept fanning herself while she danced in her seat.
Meanwhile, I'm trying to keep a straight face while the guest speaker is talking about Reproductive Health and the effectiveness of NuvaRing and the Sponge. Seinfeld moment -- "You're not Sponge worthy." How embarrassing would it have been if I busted out laughing while the speaker talked about menstruating? Keep in mind that I'm not smiling about the presentation but by Miss Ants in Her Pants to the left of me.
And get this, she starts blowing on her arms. Like that's going to cool her down. BLOWING ON HER ARMS! I've never seen anything like this before. So I thought - drugs. She came to class loaded with something. Now, I'm trying to take notes while she's blowing on her arms. You have no idea how hard it is to pay attention while this is happening. Then she starts staring at me. She probably wondered why I was wearing a sweatshirt. I mean it's February and we woke up to about 4 inches of snow this morning, but that's beside the point.
Then she got up again and left the classroom. I felt better after I saw the students on the other side of her exchange "what the frick?" glances as she walked out the door. She came back and kept moving in her seat.
Class ended and when I got back to my apartment I looked up side effects of acid and then cocaine. Wikipedia matched Cocaine and Meth with the Arm Blower's symptoms she demonstrated in class.
That's when I came to the conclusion that the girl sitting next to me in my 8:00 am lab this morning was on Meth or Cocaine.